M.S.F.

MSF

Hey gals, I’m a single white male, 5’9”, 189 and ½ Lbs and I dress really lovely. Some people say I look like George Clooney but I don’t know I think I look more like Dan Fielding from Night Court but maybe I do look like Georgey, who knows, it’s all subjective, right? Anyways I’m lonely and looking for a nice girl (preferably half white half Filipino about 5’2” – 5’4” with size c breasts and a disproportionately large posterior) to settle down with. I have a full-time job and a beautiful apartment I share with my dog, Kim Jong Il (he’s a Shar Pei). I like to stay in and drink wine and watch Glee but I can also go out and drink whiskey and get into fights and f*#@ in the alley if that’s what you’re into. I got straight A’s in high school and received my AA from my local community college. I work a lot but I sleep very little so don’t worry, I’ll spend a LOT of time with you. I am in pretty good physical condition and although I haven’t had sexual relations in over six years I’ve practiced consistently with a blow-up doll – no complaints so far (just a little joke). I will of course throw away the doll once we’re in a committed relationship. So that’s about it, I guess. I hope some nice young girl is reading this ad right now and thinking about calling. Ttyl!

- Ryan

p.s. Oh yeah I forgot to mention that I stand to inherit a small fortune (in the area of $5 mil) when my comatose uncle finally passes and also I have a criminal record. No big deal but if we ever go on a vacation I have to notify a few people and fill out some paperwork and…let’s not think about vacations for a while.